An army girl's worst enemy... deployment: A new experience

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

A new experience

Sorry I havent written in awhile guys, I've been pretty busy! I recently moved away to school! Exciting! I am now living at Salisbury University. However, the campus is pretty dead at the moment. I moved to school 3 days early because I am cheering! In 2 more days i'll get to meet all the friends I made on facebook, and meet everyone in my dorm.

But im super exhausted from cheer camp today. Hope you enjoyed the update. Btw Daren is doing pretty well :)

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I am a military girlfriend.

I am a military girlfriend. I hold no formal recognition with the powers that be. I am at the bottom of the chain. I hold no Military ID card; I am not a "dependent" or a parent. The man I love may face unspeakable dangers, and I am at the mercy of those who possess this recognition for news. I understand this and accept this.

I am a military girlfriend. I have promised to be here for him upon his return, no matter how long he is away. People may say I am insane for making such a commitment with no garuntees, but I hold onto our promises and have faith that he will come home safe to me. I know full well that my love for him fuels him in the worst of times.

I am a military girlfriend. There is no ring on my finger to symbolize our commitment, though I love him no less for it. I hope every day that he will be able to call because a simple 30-second phone call can bring the greatest spectrum of emotions...smiling with tears in my eyes from so much joy and pain. My relationship is based on brief communication where "I love you and I'm okay" speaks more than volumes and gives me the strength to keep going.

I am a military girlfriend. I take no moment spend together for granted. I hold onto every tough, caress, kiss, and every word. I have memorized the feel of his skin, his smell, the sound of his voice, and I play it over and over in my head so that I will not forget. I cry myself to sleep some nights because missing him hurts so badly, but wake up the next morning, brush myself off, and start a new day.

I am a military girlfriend. The events of the next several months hold my life, my love, and my future in the balance. When you watch the news reports, you may turn away and go about your business relatively unaffected. When I watch the news, stories of the way, I do not see nameless soldiers a half a world away. I see individuals who will forever be changed by the war. News of every casualty causes me physical pain and deep sadness.

I am a military girlfriend, no a spouse or family member. When you say your prayers for the wives, mothers, fathers, please dont forget about me too.